Tuesday, January 25, 2005

What's Your Part?

Hello again,

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything. A very good friend encouraged me to write some of the insights that I felt were coming from a divine place. The whole idea of web logs was birthed from his and my conversation. But I must be honest, I haven’t felt a lot of insights swirling inside of me lately. Sometimes I don’t feel that I have anything to say.

I just can’t stomach the idea of appearing to be another know-it-all adding another two cents worth of wisdom to an already saturated and over burdened church that’s being swayed from one opinion to the next. So this is not to the common goodhearted Christian looking for answers that will better themselves and those around them. This is to all the other know-it-alls, like myself, who spend more time talking about the idea of manifesting Gods presence than actually revealing His presence. This is not an insight, I don’t think, but more of an observation.

You’re probably thinking, boy did he get up on the wrong side of the bed or what? Sometimes I believe I was born on the wrong side of the bed!

You know scripture says that we only know in part, and that we see through a glass dimly. So why is it that we can be so sure to fire our ‘parts’ like a missile rather than laying them upon the altar to see if the offering is even worthy to be uttered. Scripture says that we are to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Yet I see heavyweight Christian leaders leading the masses through all kinds of controlling and manipulative hoops for the purpose of money, fame, and sometimes credibility. Beating us relentlessly with their ‘dim parts’.

I saw a prophetic minister, who I believe probably is a true prophet of God on television, and he spent almost his entire time on the program defending prophetic words that he gave that other church leaders said did not come to pass. Whether his words did or didn’t come to pass, who wants to spend their whole life defending their ‘dim part’. If the words didn’t come to pass, why not just admit that you missed it. I asked a friend of mine what his thoughts were about it and he gave me a profound insight. He said his identity is more in being the prophet than it is in being found in Christ. Wow, that hit me hard! Is our identity more in our ’dim part’ than it is being found in Christ? Is our ‘part’ being right so important that we have to fire it like a missile or spend all our time justifying it? This thing we see dimly that should bring fear and trembling seems to sometimes release the monster on the inside of us. Has anyone ever beat you merciless with their ‘dim part’ with all the surety and rightness of the finest Pharisee? What have we as a people become and who is to hold us accountable?
Does being a spotless bride mean that we are to appear perfect, or is it by being perfectly honest about our humanity.

These are questions that we all must answer. We have this great treasure in an earthen vessel. Sometimes it seems that no matter how spiritual we are, this vessel still holds within it the profound ability to undermine the truth and goodness of God. To divide, hurt, gossip, backbite, you name it. We must come to the conclusion that to be found in Him is our first priority.

There you have it. I want to be real. I want to be honest. If you heard it from me, I want you to know what manner of person you heard it from. I make all kinds of mistakes. I question my ability to be a good father to my children. I have blown it as a husband at times. Sometimes I don’t trust the humility I try to portray to others because I know how deceitful my own heart can be. That’s why sometimes, I don’t feel like I have anything to say. I don’t want to beat people up with my own frustrations. I have done that before. I don’t want to market, promote, or justify my ‘dim part’ any more. But this one thing, I do want. To be found in Him and declare Him with the ‘part’ He gave me. But it’s just a part.

God bless you all.